Car Safety Guru Gifts

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"It helps prevent side collisions."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Don't forget to put some sunscreen on your tongue."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

AI Safety Officer

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Nice park. . .

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Beware of Everything

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Safest Airline in The World

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

Attention: Speed Troughs

The Future of Flight?

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"Aaaughhh! Don't play with that!"

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

'It's an old work injury.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."