Car Safety Geek Gifts

Road - Slippery When Wet.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Yes, sorry your accident record doesn't look good."

"I've discovered this is the best type of body type to survive a car crash."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

Attention: Speed Troughs

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"It helps prevent side collisions."

Big bumpers.

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

"I couldn't work out how to use my car seat-belt. . . and then it suddenly clicked!"

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

SmartphoneDumb Driver.

Piano Airbag

My doctor advised me to start walking more.

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

'Oh, Sweetie, look, Daddy's fitting a new car seat for baby.'

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

Speed Limit.

Green Cross Code: Avoid cars, avoid meat, avoid fur.

'Your father told you to look both ways when crossing a four lane highway?'

"Always use the crosswalk!"

"You're going on a very short journey."