Car Safety Geek Pillows

"Yes, sorry your accident record doesn't look good."

"I've discovered this is the best type of body type to survive a car crash."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

Attention: Speed Troughs

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"It helps prevent side collisions."

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

Big bumpers.

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

"We ran out of salt for the roads, but we had plenty of pepper..."

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

SmartphoneDumb Driver.

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

"I couldn't work out how to use my car seat-belt. . . and then it suddenly clicked!"

Piano Airbag

'Oh, Sweetie, look, Daddy's fitting a new car seat for baby.'

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

Green Cross Code: Avoid cars, avoid meat, avoid fur.

"Always use the crosswalk!"

Speed Limit.

School crossing

Driver of Gritter Lorry gritting his teeth.

"You're going on a very short journey."

Seat belts - The giving of life.

'His airbag must have over inflated.'