Safety Renegade Gifts

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

Queen of Upcycling!

"OK, ready to go again?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

Tractor Racing

Ready for a run!

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

A man without a chicken on his head!

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'I may not be an expert, but I know an ill-sighted wind turbine when I hear one!'

Solar Storm Expected!

First fisherman says, 'What happens if the DNR finds us?' Other replies, 'Let's just hope they're into catch and release.'

Mary Quant.

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Your businessman's lunch, sir - But you need to sign this compliance self-audit checklist first.

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

Model Village

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."