Railway Renegade Gifts

Solar Storm Expected!

Ailtrack

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

Using public transport- only protected

Network SouthEast - "Sorry?.. you mean I pay you?"

"Sorry I'm late. My train arrived on time and I wasn't expecting it!"

"OK, ready to go again?"

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Tractor Racing

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

Ready for a run!

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

Music Freak.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'Deer and Game Crossing'.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Are you telling me you won't even ask the computerized navigational system for directions?"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Complaints (just kidding).

Cluster Catastrophe

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

'I'm bringing it into the pit! The DVD player conked out in the middle of 'Little Miss Sunshine'.'

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"Well, I liked it until I read the reviews."

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'