Road Joke Fan Gifts

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

Do not pass.

Traffic Jam

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

Slow, Men at Work.

'Told you so.'

'It's my prostate.'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

Sat Nag

Getting the Finger

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

'This car drives so smooth it feels like we're flying.'

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

A butterfly splats on a windshield in a 'Butterfly Crossing.'

I thought "E" meant enough.

"We'll be there soon, dear. Your dad will only be pushing us until gas prices go down...which will be in the fall.."

'This new headset is great. I can eat and drink while I drive.'

DAVE'S GARAGE, 'Sorry, pal, but we found a typo in your warranty.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

'We don't have a flat tire!'

Two flies driving in a car with a poop air freshener

"Both vehicles stopped at the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel waved. Mr. Wang put his vehicle in gear proceeding to the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel also moved her vehicle forward colliding with Mr. Wang's vehicle. Mrs. Dinkel states she was not waving to give Mr. Wang the right of way; she states she was waving to Mrs. Galdys Hooper-Smith in her vehicle passing overhead on Highway I-95, politely extending a yoo-hoo to Mrs. Hooper-Smith and her Lhasa Apso."