Road Joke Fan Prints

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

Do not pass.

Traffic Jam

Slow, Men at Work.

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

'Told you so.'

'It's my prostate.'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

Sat Nag

Getting the Finger

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'This car drives so smooth it feels like we're flying.'

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

A butterfly splats on a windshield in a 'Butterfly Crossing.'

"We'll be there soon, dear. Your dad will only be pushing us until gas prices go down...which will be in the fall.."

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

'This new headset is great. I can eat and drink while I drive.'

DAVE'S GARAGE, 'Sorry, pal, but we found a typo in your warranty.'

'We don't have a flat tire!'

You want a scary Christmas story? I'll tell you how much my rail fare was to get here.

"In that case you're getting a ticket for parking on a motorway."

"Both vehicles stopped at the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel waved. Mr. Wang put his vehicle in gear proceeding to the intersection. Mrs. Dinkel also moved her vehicle forward colliding with Mr. Wang's vehicle. Mrs. Dinkel states she was not waving to give Mr. Wang the right of way; she states she was waving to Mrs. Galdys Hooper-Smith in her vehicle passing overhead on Highway I-95, politely extending a yoo-hoo to Mrs. Hooper-Smith and her Lhasa Apso."