Car Joke Fan Prints

Getting the Finger

'How about a nice saloon?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Traffic Jam

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

'Told you so.'

'Power steering.'

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Driving a Lemon.

'It's my prostate.'

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

Sat Nag

Concerto for...head-on crash and orchestra.

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'