Car Joke Fan Prints

Getting the Finger

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Traffic Jam

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'Told you so.'

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'Power steering.'

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Driving a Lemon.

'It's my prostate.'

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

Concerto for...head-on crash and orchestra.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Sat Nag

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

Honk honk here, honk honk there, everywhere a honk honk

I thought "E" meant enough.

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'