Traffic Joke Fan Gifts

Traffic Jam

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

'It's a slow trap.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Do not pass.

Slow, Men at Work.

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

Snail Crossing.

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'Oh no, I've been clamped!'

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

Getting the Finger

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

"It will be your job to create major delays."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.