Traffic Joke Aficionado Gifts

The late Petey Dumcluck was a master at Ambulance Chicken.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

'It's a slow trap.'

Traffic Jam

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Do not pass.

Slow, Men at Work.

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Snail Crossing.

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

'Oh no, I've been clamped!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

"It will be your job to create major delays."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane