Car Humor Fan Gifts

'Told you so.'

'This new headset is great. I can eat and drink while I drive.'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

"Next time use your signal."

"We'll be there soon, dear. Your dad will only be pushing us until gas prices go down...which will be in the fall.."

'If this Van's A-Rocking' it's probably because there's an earthquake or something.'

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

Learner Driver,"I once saw a beetle get out of this position."

Sat Nag

Baby in Trunk.

Two flies driving in a car with a poop air freshener

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

No U-turns

'Power steering.'

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Driving a Lemon.

'It's my prostate.'

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Getting the Finger

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

Other decals on cars.

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

'I don't care what you say lad.....I say he was speeding!'

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'