Car Comedy Fan Gifts

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

"Dad says where are his clean underpants?"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'Told you so.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

No U-turns

'Power steering.'

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Driving a Lemon.

Clown Airbags.

'It's my prostate.'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

Sat Nag

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

Getting the Finger

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

"We'll be there soon, dear. Your dad will only be pushing us until gas prices go down...which will be in the fall.."

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'