Ritual Lover Gifts

R.C.I.A.

"The only way to stop a bad sacrifice to the volcano is a good sacrifice to the volcano!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Folk Wedding

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

Maypole

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

Time for Tea

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Queen reigning.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

First Marriage.

"He misses his commute ."

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

Happy Hogmanay!

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"This computer uses artificial intelligence to think like a human being...so it needs coffee in the morning to get it going!"

"We had this last year."

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."