Ritual Enthusiasts Gifts

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I'm having my entrails read."

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

So Far So Good

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

Attila the Nun.

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

'But everybody does that stuff!'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

Decisions a Pope makes

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"