Ritual Enthusiasts Gifts

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

So Far So Good

R.C.I.A.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

Attila the Nun.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

'But everybody does that stuff!'

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"