Ritual Humorists Gifts

"Do you mind Miss Trimble. I'm about to conduct a Christening."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Ten Commandments

Pope tarts.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Sermon Applause.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

R.C.I.A.

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Praying Mantis.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Regifts of the Magi

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.