Ritualistic Humorist Gifts

'I do like a smoke afterwards.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

At the 2021 Religious Games

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Ten Commandments

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Guru.

Pope tarts.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Sermon Applause.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Please take your receipt!'

R.C.I.A.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Praying Mantis.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Regifts of the Magi

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'