Ringleader Gifts

'Sorry I'm late - my shoe lace snapped!'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

"I've got a pulse!"

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

Poetry Knight

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

"He's a genius at product placement."

I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tou

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

'I'd like to keep it a boys only club too, but this is HER tree house!'

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

Diner angry at a robot waiter because of a nut in his food

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

'The health dept. takes a great leap forward.'

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

'Your USB port is open.'

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

"Don't worry. I'm not here for your job. I'm here for your boss's job."

Clown Car Lane: 10 or More

"Go. The sign has a bigger impact when someone's just sitting there."

"I can't decide what not to wear today."

Robot lady with robot dog

Wives in the Trees

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