Retail Ringleader Gifts

"He's a genius at product placement."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Pirates at the mall.

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Returns"

Sold It All.

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

Super Homeworld

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

"In the absence of an alternative strategy Norman is sacrificing a goat to the God of retail next door."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Complaints (just kidding).

Diner angry at a robot waiter because of a nut in his food

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated