Remote Control Ringleader Gifts

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

How the goat got square eyes.

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

Meditation vs. Vegetation

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

TV Remote undoes a man's trousers.

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

"You have repetitive motion injury."

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

Poetry Knight

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'? We're at the cinema!'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

2016 Policlicks

"She died doing what she loved."

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

Note: Remote control goes inside the soup spoon.

"He's a genius at product placement."

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

Diner angry at a robot waiter because of a nut in his food

Remote control bridge in bath.

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

"Hey! That's not Rogers. It's his avatar."

"You'd better not be thinking about using that remote during my show!"

'Presently, Reinhart, I possess a controlling interest in comfy chair and the remote.'

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"