Remake Ringleader Gifts

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Canadian film production

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

Poetry Knight

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

"He's a genius at product placement."

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

Diner angry at a robot waiter because of a nut in his food

'I can't believe they made a sequel.'

'Who called for a trouble shooter?'

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

'The health dept. takes a great leap forward.'

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

Numb and Number.

"Isn't this a sequel?"

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

'I've always played by the rules...Fortunately, they were my rules.'

"Go. The sign has a bigger impact when someone's just sitting there."

'Sorry I'm late - my shoe lace snapped!'

'You don't think 10 Mission Statements is a little bit excessive?'

Clipboard

"I'm not playing with you anymore! You're just making the rules up as you go along!"

"I can't decide what not to wear today."

Adam & Eve get a reality show.