Ring-side Humorists Gifts

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

Magic Act

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

"I've never trusted cows."

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

The Theatre of Mime.

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

Tip jar at boxing match.

'One of our actors is passed out drunk. Is there a spin doctor in the house?'

'Are you decent'

'Whoa, just who says 'They shoot horses?''

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

'I've been playing smoke-tag all day.'

Cleaning a new road

"It's a very short cycle lane but I'm determined to use it."