Ring-side Humorists Pillows

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Magic Act

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

"I've never trusted cows."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

Yoga Class. Ernie, check this out -- The "lotus" position! Looks more like the "low-tush" position!

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

The Theatre of Mime.

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

'Hold steady, there girl. I need to open my bottle of cider!'

'One of our actors is passed out drunk. Is there a spin doctor in the house?'

'Are you decent'

'Whoa, just who says 'They shoot horses?''

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

Tip jar at boxing match.

"Well, well! Looks like someone's not a happy camper! Get it? Happy camper? We're camping? Happy...cam...ahem..."

'I've been playing smoke-tag all day.'

"It's a very short cycle lane but I'm determined to use it."

Marathon winners.