Ringside Comedian Gifts

"Listen, if you don't break when I ask you to, the next time I'll give you a thick ear."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Stop the big guy!

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

Tip jar at boxing match.

'Excuse me. Is this seat 27c?'

Knock-out at the boxing match.

'Oh - you're there! I was hoping I could just leave a message.'

'Never mind! He's in an HMO. ...They're sending a tow truck.'

"Pull up past the armadillo."

'Go on, give it brain damage.'

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

'What do we do now?'

'It's a long way from the dressing room to the ring, isn't it?'

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'

'Ronald, your father and I think you're old enough to know...'

"Are we late?"

'He's clean!!'

'...he thought he'd killed you !'