Ring Side Satirist Gifts

Tip jar at boxing match.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'So I'll become a CEO of a dummy corporation.'

'Secondhand smoke.'

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"He'll be a hard man to replace. Nobody knows what he does."

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

"'Take that,' growled the writer as the buyer for Borders slumped to the ..."

'We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious.'

Oil Workers

"I own 60% of your image rights. Which means you have to pay me ten quid every time you look in the mirror."

"Gimme a shot!"

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

Theatrical agent, "Quite honestly Frank I think you've turned into a poor caricature of yourself"

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

'Goodness me referee one really must question your visual acuity.'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

'Excuse me. Is this seat 27c?'

Michael Grade

Knock-out at the boxing match.

"I'll miss drawing you, Bill Clinton."

'Spare the price of roast chicken, seafood or soft cheeses, mate, as this wine would be the perfect accompaniment to them.'

Tail-piece to the Artists' Catalogue.

Conscientious objection.

'Go on, give it brain damage.'

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

Man with big ears at the Tyson fight - "You're taking a risk sat ringside mate."

'The champ has absolutely no respect for his opponent's punching power.'

"Listen, if you don't break when I ask you to, the next time I'll give you a thick ear."

Large lady being shown to small seats at the opera.

We'll be ok walking to the school bus stop. Watch out. There are scary folks out there! Slam! Ding dong! You let your children walk alone?!! Shame! And the scariest are nosy neighbors!

'Time you got those glasses changed Fred. . .'