Ring Side Humorist Gifts

Knock-out at the boxing match.

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Magic Act

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"Is that true love or what? My masters are vegetarians, but they still buy me juicy bones..."

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

Witch steals a traffic man's Go sign.

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

"... And in the blue corner, about to be soundly beaten... "

The Theatre of Mime.

Artist's model for a painting of Hamlet turns up to the studio with a black eye

'I don't understand it. He's just as strong as ever.'

'One of our actors is passed out drunk. Is there a spin doctor in the house?'

'He's tiring? What happened to round four 'he's ready to go!'?'

Tip jar at boxing match.

Dibs!

'Excuse me. Is this seat 27c?'

'Oh - you're there! I was hoping I could just leave a message.'

"Listen, if you don't break when I ask you to, the next time I'll give you a thick ear."

'Go on, give it brain damage.'

'When that bell rings, yank that string THREE TIMES and go into him like a kamikaze pilot!'

Quit humming. You're scaring the fish"

'What do we do now?'

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'

'Ronald, your father and I think you're old enough to know...'

'Don't bunch up around the ball! Spread out, spread out! ... And quit grazing, Lyle!'

'He's clean!!'

'Men tell me that without my glasses, I'm incredible!' 'Without my glasses, you are ...incredible!'

'...he thought he'd killed you !'