Ringmaster Of Jokes Gifts

'...he thought he'd killed you !'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Circus

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

'Hoopla!'

'When are you gonna get me some real competition?'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'May I be serious for a minute?'

"You'll have to use your fingers - the sword swallowers have eaten all the cutlery!"

Box Tamer.

'..and in this corner, with a record of 25 wins, 7 draws, 18 losses, and 9 times beaten to a pulp...'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'