Ringmaster Of Puns Gifts

'..and in this corner, with a record of 25 wins, 7 draws, 18 losses, and 9 times beaten to a pulp...'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

I will study my speling words...

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Bed Spread"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Your Grounded!'

Circus

"Dogs are men."

"What can I say? I was an English major."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

Biology Laboratory: No Cellfies

"Hey, Sisyphus, when you've got a minute I'd like to discuss this progress report with you."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I was going to tell you a joke about my snack, but I thought it might be a bit too cheesy...."

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

Doric, Ionic and Platonic.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Barbed Pen