Rice Riser Gifts

"You really like my arroz con pollo, huh?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Rapunzel in the Morning

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Norman really cherishes his ideals.'

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

Army Barracks

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

'The hardest part of this running routine is exercising the will power to do it.'

"Dang it."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"Ken Kesey left us the recipe in his will."

"He definitely wants to go out."

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

"Yes, I'm really enjoying it here since my promotion, Joe, and by the way you're fired."

The reality of Arabian nights: 'Well, morning comes early, and you've got an awful lot of camels to milk.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'