Rice Riser T-Shirts

"You really like my arroz con pollo, huh?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Rapunzel in the Morning

Not you. Your hair.

"I'm supposed to wake Jasper up at sunrise, but which pile of snow is he asleep under?"

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

'Norman really cherishes his ideals.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"Baldo, time to get up! It's the first day of school!"

Army Barracks

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'The hardest part of this running routine is exercising the will power to do it.'

"Dang it."

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'You know Doug just isn't a morning person. This afternoon's not looking too good, either.'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

'I set the alarm to 96 years!'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"On days when I need to get out of bed and go to work, I close my eyes until the feeling passes."

Psst, sir. Want an extra kick with your morning coffee? Sure, like more caffeine? Like a little wake-up. Huh? The top 10% of American families get nearly 70% of all income, compared to 1980 when they got a third. I'm talkin' 'bout the income gap! Not bad. Does this come with chocolate syrup.

"Yes, I'm really enjoying it here since my promotion, Joe, and by the way you're fired."

It's ok to be a morning person, Ron, just not all day long.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

The reality of Arabian nights: 'Well, morning comes early, and you've got an awful lot of camels to milk.'

"He definitely wants to go out."

"Ken Kesey left us the recipe in his will."

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'