Rhino Ranger Gifts

'Okay wait. Screaming and failing is for large cats...'

New Guy.

Bear Hugging Season Open

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'May the forest be with you.'

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

That's actually the gorilla survival manoeuvre. . .

Camping with Mr. Thorough

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"Feeling that only you can prevent forest fires could be construed as delusions of grandeur."

The Destruction of the Environment

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Wolf Reintroduction.

Stephen Harpers's China Diary - Great Wall Tour.

'Look, it's quite simple. It isn't rocket science you know... Er... Well, you know what I mean.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

Sadly, the few who actually checked their e-mail, were too out of shape to run.

Forest Management

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

Grasslands Preserve. I understand it's difficult to domesticate buffalo. Yes --- they can be seen but not herded.

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'