Revenue Officer Gifts

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'I don't mind being here. I was due at the Revenue's Enquiry Branch tomorrow.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Who's your daddy corporation?"

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

IRS Audit Section

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."