Finance Officer Gifts

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Cashflow - "No, don't put the cheque in the post - I'll send someone round to pick it up."

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

'Mr. Wigglerum finally paid his bill but he did it by faxing us cash.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Financially, you're in the top third but you're in the bottom third of that third. You are, however, in the top third of that bottom third?"

"Sorry, if you want a dial tone, there will be an extra charge on your phone bill"

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'Sir Joselyn you will be pleased to know, I have been looking at some figures and if we dispose of another 1000 soldiers before they get their pensions, we can top ours by 5% and bring digestives back at tea break!'

"Wow, honey, if we win the lottery, we could run for public office."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'Have no fear, we won't be suffering the same naive investment errors as other councils, I've placed our funds safely in the account of a deposed Nigerian General who just emailed me.'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"This is an imaginative expenses claim. I wish we could use those skills of yours in the business."

"We've got to make 'efficiency' savings!"

'There's plenty of scope for cuts in the voluntary sector...you just have to follow our example and cut out the fat.'

'Doc, when I had a look at my salary statement, I got a motivation leak'!

"Took one for the team today."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

"I've been told that my check is in the mail. Could you verify that for me?"

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'Where's the pioneer spirit that got us two billion dollars in debt?'

Marvin began to realise that he may have taken out his student loan with the wrong people.

Pick & Buy Online.

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

Testing Division - How did my expenses claim stand up?

Empty safe

In the loop we trust.

'Can we claim for this on expenses?'

'You need to spend more time in the counting house, Majesty, and less in the wine cellar.'