Chief Financial Officer Gifts

"I'm looking to hire a C.F.O. Anyone interested?"

'The scary thing is he's our CFO.'

'The numbers don't lie... Damn them!'

"His only acquisitions so far seem to have been a Ferrari and a villa a Marbella."

Director of Nickel and Diming

"Bring me the head of my C. F. O.!"

'Risky, but I like it!'

"Why do I think the company's CFO has taken downsizing too far? That's the company's CFO!"

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'You're safe through the second quarter, Mr. Dawkins. I've torqued the numbers.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

"Well, you're our Chief Financial Officer, so I thought I'd ask you first."

"We'll begin by hearing a report on skype from our CFO who's doing 5 to 10 for fraud..."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'What's excessive-times-a-trillion-divided-by-two?'

Chief Financial Officer. I was trying to maintain liquidity and everything went down the drain.

The Joy of Recession

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'