Corporate Finance Executive Gifts

"I understand he used to be in treasury management!"

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Occu-Pie Mars

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'