Corporate Executive Gifts

"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Sarah, so I'll just repeat it a little bit louder."

"Before we begin this family meeting, how about we go around and say our names and a little something about ourselves."

"If only I'd thought to take my damn phone with me, I could be getting some work done."

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

'...any other business?'

'Excellent meeting. I loved the quick fixes, the simple solutions, and the easy answers.'

"I suppose we could tweak our empathy algorithm."

"I hope you don't think that you have a monopoly on ethics."

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

"In the interest of cultural diversity, we've hired Jason, here, who owns a number of hip-hop CDs."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Because of inflation, I'm going to have to let two of you go."

'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'

'Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.'

"But I've never made any real money. . ."

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"We've been accused of being a group of 'Yes' men!"

Professional Couples

"A billion is a thousand million? Why wasn't I informed of this?"

The Department of Lessons Learned...

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

The Grand Scheme.

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Mind you, I'm not responsible for the entire pipeline ?' just the section that flows through my office.'

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'You do as you're told, we pay as we please...That, in a nutshell, is our corporate culture.'

'HR says we should be looking for a little fresh blood any idea what they're talking about?'

Three office doors: 'Idea People,' 'Make It Happen People,' and 'Make it Like This Never Happened People.'

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

"This forms part of our corporate social responsibility plan."

'Fancy a cup of tea?'