Executive Gifts

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'Who vetted that leader?'

"Remember, now-you're sense, I'm sensibility."

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

"No, not there, please. That's where I'm going to put my head."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'We have two options. Boldly tackle the challenges ahead, or hold off and hope an asteroid strikes.'

Out of Focus Group

"Miss Dugan, will you send someone in here who can distinguish right from wrong?"

"Mr. Dyer says he has no interest in speaking to anyone who would remain on hold for so long,"

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

"The resolution has been made and seconded that we stick our heads in the sand."

'If we do applaud transparency, will anyone see it?'

Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'

"According to our time-and-motion studies, you handle your time very well but a lot of your motion is wasted."

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

"Well, then, it's unanimous."

"We need a better piling system."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"Do we want to just flip a coin, or hire expensive consultants so they can flip a coin?"

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I suggest because I'm the boss and I say so. Or, #2: I launch into an excruciatingly dull, long and detailed presentation explaining my position. You decide."

'Who's the designated leaker?'

"Do you ever find yourself wondering, 'What would Batman do in this situation?'"

"I can't speak for everyone in the top one percent, but I'm fine."

"And if you do any work, put it here."

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

CEO and COO.

'Nice to see you again. We must do ants sometime.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

8 AM in the sleeper elevator car

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Sensation in the Hamptons: A Man Strolls Down Main Street Wearing a Tie.