Executives Gifts

'I think we have a communication problem.' - 'You can say that again, I fired you two weeks ago.'

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

"O.K., on my signal we're going to shift from pre-millennial to post-millennial thinking."

"Sure, we can spend all day nitpicking specifics but aren't sweeping generalities so much more satisfying?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Non-Profit-Organization

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'Why can't the rest of you be more like Stanton? He's full of new ideas.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'Decision making would be so much easier if it weren't for the consequences.'

"Gentlemen: This is a follow-up on our recent Christmas card."

'I love men in uniformity.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

' Murder?!..Thank goodness.For one awful moment there,I thought you said there'd been a merger ! '

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

"Someday, gentlemen, I promise you - the heady days of 'Come a ti yi yippie yippie yay' will be back."

Looking for Leadership.

'Next, we'll be learning about delegating ulcers.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I wish they'd stop increasing the amount of tax I have to evade.'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

"Women didn't used to get to be executives? but mommy, how did any decisions get made?"

Women's day - one of the chaps.

"He's going to make a great managing director one day."

"One word, gentlemen: China."

Hour Glass

"...then there is business Plan 'C', that does involve robbing a bank."

'The boss finally noticed me today. He said I should wear deodrant.'

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'