Corporate Finance Gifts

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'And the best thing is we pass the savings on to no one.'

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

British savings accounts

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The day the stock market went UP.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'