Corporate Finance Gifts

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'And the best thing is we pass the savings on to no one.'

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

British savings accounts

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."