Tax Officers Gifts

"Bring me some little people."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

IRS Audit Section

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."