Government Tax Agent Gifts

Economic Indicators - I'll tell you another economic indicator - my wallet is empty.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

IRS Audit Section

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!