Government Tax Agent Gifts

Economic Indicators - I'll tell you another economic indicator - my wallet is empty.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

IRS Audit Section

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."