Tax Officer Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

Tax officer to a dentist: 'This may hurt a little.'

Accountant speaks with client in ball room and fun with taxes

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

'Get these over to the acronym department A.S.A.P.'

"There's no getting away from you guys."

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

"We'll take the front, you go round the back."

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

Tax office in/out boxes read: Ask a silly question/Get a silly answer.

'Just remember, the dessert is mine!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Sign in a tax office: 'The customer is always ripe.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

'I'm sorry, but if I let you in, it wouldn't be Heaven.'

"Any deductions?" "Yes, you're lying."

Income Tax Assistance: 'I've been feeling pretty crummy lately - Can I depreciate myself?'

You're living in the past, sir. We closed that loophole years ago.

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

Two coffees, Miss Jones - one with sodium pentathol.

Tax officer reads book entitled: The Joy of Tax.

'It cost the taxpayers over $100,000 but we finally got the $86.40 that the guy owed.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

"Your partners are here."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

"Maybe next year you'll get your return in on time..."

"It's great that you lost weight, but you don't pay less taxes because there's less of you."

"The Internal Revenue Service will want to see a receipt for my soul."

"There's no way we are going to pay this tax bill - I'd sooner see you go to jail."

"Are you responsible for this, Arnold?"

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."