Tax Officer Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Tax officer to a dentist: 'This may hurt a little.'

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

Trophies of debt collector's heads.

Accountant speaks with client in ball room and fun with taxes

I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

"There's no getting away from you guys."

'Get these over to the acronym department A.S.A.P.'

Tax office in/out boxes read: Ask a silly question/Get a silly answer.

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"We'll take the front, you go round the back."

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

'Just remember, the dessert is mine!'

'I'm sorry, but if I let you in, it wouldn't be Heaven.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

Sign in a tax office: 'The customer is always ripe.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"The Internal Revenue Service will want to see a receipt for my soul."

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

You're living in the past, sir. We closed that loophole years ago.

Two coffees, Miss Jones - one with sodium pentathol.

Tax officer reads book entitled: The Joy of Tax.

"Maybe next year you'll get your return in on time..."

"Are you responsible for this, Arnold?"

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

"Any deductions?" "Yes, you're lying."

"It's great that you lost weight, but you don't pay less taxes because there's less of you."

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"There's no way we are going to pay this tax bill - I'd sooner see you go to jail."

'It cost the taxpayers over $100,000 but we finally got the $86.40 that the guy owed.'

"Your partners are here."

Income Tax Assistance: 'I've been feeling pretty crummy lately - Can I depreciate myself?'

'The IRS called, Lance. Something about an audit, but don't worry I covered for you. I said you couldn't be reached because you were on your yacht.'