Tax Officers T-Shirts

"Bring me some little people."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Tax Collector

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."