Tax Agent T-Shirts

'Surely you can earn more than this! Someone has to support Medicare and Social Security.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

It seems you've failed to declare your 'flour grader' income

I.R.S. tax office with man sitting in front of agent's desk looking at RECOVERY & SCREAM ROOM door.

"I see the problem ... you used the short form."

"Well, you see Mr. Hovis, let me see if I can explain this in a 'user friendly' way. The chances of you becoming a billionaire now, tomorrow, or at any time in the foreseeable future, is pretty small so you need to pay your taxes."

'Kudos! Your return was almost mythological in scope.'

I.R.S.: LIKE IT and LUMP IT nameplates on agent's desk.

'But my earnings were just PEANUTS!'

"I don't know if it's NSA, FBI, IRS, or nosy neighbor."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Flat tax - equal burden?

The transparent safe box of Panama

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'