Retro Rule Enforcers Gifts

"Talk about low tech..."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

No Smoking.

'Click it or ticket.'

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Referee cop.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

I will not waste chalk kid...

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

1998: A Look Back

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

Mom Umpires

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

"That's why we wear hard hats"

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'