Retro Detective Gifts

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Tourist

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

History Department: 'I used to be a revisionist myself, you know!'

1998: A Look Back

Phone Call

'No, not Cro-Magnon - something about it makes me think it's Neanderthal.'

Telephone Box

Working from home.

'We have to get them out more.'

"You know what they say: if you can remember the Sixties then talk about them endlessly on BBC Four documentaries."

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

"Leon rents out his time machine to people who have to go back and 'un-day' stuff that's now considered offensive."

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Louis Daguerre takes a selfie

'This is the museum's vault of 'Mislaid Masterpieces' which we 'come across quite by chance' from time to time.'

When policewomen date.

Dave could never work out how he lost his nose stud.

'I got the habit while fitting in with the old boys club.'

The Shape of Progress.

'After I found out he was a cop, he just stopped calling. Too bad. I thought this time it might lead to something - other than an arrest.'

"The usual, Al. Just sharpen the nose and hone the chin."

"I think it's time Mario stopped delivering the kiss of death."

A teenager imagines how the world looked prior to the invention of the internet

"They have this arrangement. He earns the money and she takes care of the house."

'Is there something you'd like to tell me, Edna?'

'Oh, I don't have an appointment to see the doctor. I'm doing a report on magazine trends in the 1970's.'