Retro Crime Lover Gifts

"I think it's time Mario stopped delivering the kiss of death."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

The Elliot Ness monster.

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

Fossil record player.

1930's Lady.

Colonial Larrysburg.

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

Groovy Baby

Young Elvis

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Welcome to a parallel universe. It's like 50 years ago, man. Coffee costs a quarter, tie-dye is groovy, there is a draft. Lots of differences: Free love, man. Corporations are evil. And some similarities. Joy is a new 8-track player. Shut yer #@$% yapper!

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

"Paper or plastic?"

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

Too young for the sixties, too squeamish for the seventies, too unambitious for the eighties, too technophobic for the 90s, too poor for the '00s, too old for the 'teens."

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

Handcuffs.

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"The record player is skipping again."

"Make it look like an accident"

In the eighties, Americans knew how to be Americans. Big cars. Big radios. Big hair. Everything was big. Unfortunately, I was so buff that all my huge stuff looked tiny in comparison. So I would loan my stuff to the skinniest, wimpiest kid I could find. Hold this. Let me reminisce vicariously through you. (Sigh.) Those were the days. Is it working?

'I miss the great depression.'