Vintage Crime Fan Gifts

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

The evidence destroyed

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Crime in bookshop

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

Moses as a mobster.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

A spy

Stand and Deliver