Retro Hilarity Seeker Gifts

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

W.C. Fields

Trump to Build Wall

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

Laboratories - Contaminate Biologicals/Hazardous Material/Radioactive Waste/Mutant Organisms.

An interview with Codlin and Short

How We Know You're Getting Old

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"Cap'n crunches"

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

This problem began in the 1950's...

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

Pistols at dawn.

Wave to the Goldfish!

Empty window display selling air guitars.

John Dryden

Gross Outrage.

'It was a Christmas present from last year. They're cute when they're puppies.'