Vintage Humor Seeker Gifts

An interview with Codlin and Short

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Peter Cook

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

W.C. Fields

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

The Enemy

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'