Retro Eyewear Enthusiasts Gifts

"The kids used to call me four eyes because of my glasses. Did you have any nicknames growing up?"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Of course, on casual Fridays I'm the fifties Elvis."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Robin Hood Flies.

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Those look good on you, They help make your nose look smaller,'

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

"I advise you to take it, Madam, before Washington puts its foot down."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

"Don't let the Leave It To Beaver lunchbox fool you...that new manager is TOUGH!"

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

Emergency: "Waiting long?"

Back to School '95

"No son, back then there was no such thing as an ironic mullet."

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"

"I don't know what's happening, but lately I've been feeling afraid of my own clothes"

"Thongs ain't what they used to be!"

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

Wooly mammoth. Polyester Mammoth.

Dr. BR Smith Optician.